Zach Attack!

It’s been a good week in the hospital. Gather round y’all while I share two quick stories.

Our first client yesterday became agitated during her assessmet and climbed on top of the desk yelling, “MICKEY MOUSE IS A BITCH! OBAMMMMA!!! OBAMMMAAAA!” She wouldn’t come down until we promised to call her lawyer. Who was her lawyer you ask? Fidel Castro!

The last client of the night was an EXTREMELY agitated 65-year-old female presenting as religiously and sexually preoccupied. She stripped naked in incoming and started calling the staff racist. When we brought her to the back and tried to calm her down by asking if her dog was sweet she replied, “You wouldn’t know sweet if it was in front of your face! If it was your daddy’s dick!” then she punched our nurse in the chest. After sedating her the last thing I heard her say was something about a dead dog and an orgasm.

I love my job.

I looked like I should work at Abercrombie. She was psychotic so I don’t know if that was win or fail.